Bristol R*vers dustbin thread

[Miah Dennehy]

I'm just glad it's been made clear it wasn't our fault . I knew it wouldn't be, but my money was on the ref.

[RedRock]

It was, however, fully in their control to submit a planning application in a timely manner and to the requisite standard. 

Time to stock up

[petehinton]

3 minutes ago, chowie said:

So they think it will be ready for the Wycombe game on 26th in 3 weeks?

Think they may need another statement. 

Reviewed on “a game by game basis” - that suggests to be they are long, long way off it being done. They’re looking at months now, not games. 

[chinapig]

Just now, Miah Dennehy said:

I'm just glad it's been made clear it wasn't our fault . I knew it wouldn't be, but my money was on the ref.

Don't worry, it will be when Joey gets his say. Though you'll have to pay for that of course.

[Scrumpty]

3 minutes ago, phantom said:

I noticed that tweet as well 

I'm sure someone could make an issue of this, but possibly they know they don't have any disabled supporters travelling? Didn't it only used to be a small area near the TV screen? 

Plans for the ‘Sporting Quarter’ were with the planning department for nearly two years, so hardly rushed through. 
 

I know a temporary stand is on a different scale, but the Council should call them out, processing their application in the same timeframe, so 18 months for a decision, meaning it will be ready for the start of the season (2025/6, that is)

[Silvio Dante]

2 minutes ago, petehinton said:

Reviewed on “a game by game basis” - that suggests to be they are long, long way off it being done. They’re looking at months now, not games. 

That’s a very interesting point. Barnsley may have agreed to the no accessible/disabled tickets but there if no guarantee every team will. This could run and run.

[Miah Dennehy]

4 minutes ago, petehinton said:

Reviewed on “a game by game basis” - that suggests to be they are long, long way off it being done. They’re looking at months now, not games. 

I did wonder about that phrasing myself. I would be amazed if it is ready for the second home game.

[Loosey Boy]

Love the Barnsley fans view that they should look to play the game at Ashton Gate - as if that would ever happen

[bcfc01]

The gift 

[steviestevieneville]

Just now, Miah Dennehy said:

I did wonder about that phrasing myself. I would be amazed if it is ready for the second home game.

Isn’t it made out of maccano ? Won’t take long to bolt together once the planning permission comes through.

[Homer Simpson]

You think it's funny now? Wait until the planning permission is refused.

[GrahamC]

27 minutes ago, JBFC II said:

So basically its the fault of the EFL for not allowing them to start with 2 away fixtures, Barnsley for not agreeing to swap the fixtures around and the local planning authority for not allowing them to build without due diligence.

Maybe, just maybe, it's because you are a pathetically run excuse of a football club, who struggle to construct anything that doesn't require guy ropes and have ultimately become a total laughing stock nation wide?

What I find strange is it was only a month or so ago I read one of the blue few complaining that us starting at home (because the balloon fiesta is the second week) was so unfair & why couldn’t they start at home?

Now transpires they couldn’t do so anyway.

Loving the imaginative use of the word “ambitious” for their meccano construction at Alton Rd, by the way.

If they are seriously pretending it will be ready by the second home game it isn’t exactly like building the South stand, is it?

Tinpot ******* losers.

[Kid in the Riot]

5 minutes ago, Miah Dennehy said:

I did wonder about that phrasing myself. I would be amazed if it is ready for the second home game.

The planning application has to go to committee and the next one is 9 September. This isn't getting resolved until October time, at the earliest.

I have to say it's laughable of Rovers to suggest that this was "beyond their control".

YOU DEMOLISHED YOUR OWN STAND BEFORE RECEIVING PLANNING PERMISSION FOR A REPLACEMENT.

[Gazred]

No guarantees season tickett holders can be relocated either. Big IF there.

What an omnishambles.

[RUSSEL85]

1 minute ago, Kid in the Riot said:

The planning application has to go to committee and the next one is 9 September. This isn't getting resolved until October time, at the earliest.

I have to say it's laughable of Rovers to suggest that this was "beyond their control".

YOU DEMOLISHED YOUR OWN STAND BEFORE RECEIVING PLANNING PERMISSION FOR A REPLACEMENT.

The unprofessionalism even from that bunch of wasters is truly staggering. Honestly couldn’t make it up.

[Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan]

The gift that keeps on giving 

…of course it’s someone else’s fault…always someone else’s fault 

The tents may be gone but the Circus keeps going.

[Kid in the Riot]

The penny has finally dropped for a couple of them, at least... 

"Hilarious club"

"Totally embarrassed by our club"

Edited August 2, 2023 by Kid in the Riot

[miser]

12 minutes ago, steviestevieneville said:

Isn’t it made out of maccano ? Won’t take long to bolt together once the planning permission comes through.

But wally never had mechanno (the toolkit for the imagination). He had a fully assembled scalextrix complete with winners flag.

[cidercity1987]

21 minutes ago, Loosey Boy said:

Love the Barnsley fans view that they should look to play the game at Ashton Gate - as if that would ever happen

I wonder what Manor Farm, Yate or the Mangos are up to that weekend 

[BCFC11]

Option to move to a different part of the stadium plus £10 compo.

Absolute shambles of a so called professional football club.

[myol'man]

Is the capacity below 8 000 now? 

[Homer Simpson]

And now their crowds as a % of capacity are going to go through the canvas roof. They're coming for us again. 

[petehinton]

 

[Dynamite Red]

They are an absolute embarrassment, is there a more tinpot, amateurish club in the EFL?  I doubt it.

Edited August 2, 2023 by Dynamite Red

[glynriley]

3 minutes ago, BCFC11 said:

Option to move to a different part of the stadium plus £10 compo.

Absolute shambles of a so called professional football club.

Wonder if their new investor has £70 to spare…

[Homer Simpson]

From Bristol Live, please let this be true. 

 

Additionally, there have been delays in the planning process amid a backlog in the planning department at Bristol City Hall which has 'effectively ground to halt' with at least four months of backlogs to even be assigned a planning officer at Bristol City Council.

[redsquirrel]

1 minute ago, glynriley said:

Wonder if their new investor has £70 to spare…

dunno but what a fiasco to be laid out in front of you as you are about to invest in the shite. id be putting my wallet away and having a look at clevedon town or wsm,both better run clubs i bet.

[TinMan's left peg]

1 hour ago, phantom said:

Tin ******* Pot.  Actually that’s insulting to tin pots which are very competent at what they do.
 

No coincidence that the “investment” news broke yesterday as a distraction for this latest shambles 

[Red Shadow]

Is this their best gift ever? How much more tinpot can they get? Complete embarrassment of a football club. 

[Redtucks]

4 minutes ago, redsquirrel said:

dunno but what a fiasco to be laid out in front of you as you are about to invest in the shite. id be putting my wallet away and having a look at clevedon town or wsm,both better run clubs i bet.

Please don't mention my local club in the same breath as that shower of shite!!!

 

Edited August 2, 2023 by Redtucks

[Kid in the Riot]

5 minutes ago, Homer Simpson said:

From Bristol Live, please let this be true. 

 

Additionally, there have been delays in the planning process amid a backlog in the planning department at Bristol City Hall which has 'effectively ground to halt' with at least four months of backlogs to even be assigned a planning officer at Bristol City Council.

Not true. The backlog is much greater. Six months +

[bcfc01]

Just now, Kid in the Riot said:

Not true. The backlog is much greater. Six months +

Wonderful 

[Pedrowe]

That statement is an outright lie. The reality is that Rovers knowingly demolished part of their stadium (albeit a tent) and sold tickets without obtaining the required planning permission.

That decision involved a considerable development risk, and one they would have been fully aware of.
Having worked in planning and development for nearly 20 years, I have never come across such reckless behaviour from what should be a professional organisation.

Although they now admit that the stand won't be ready, they had complete control over the factors that caused the delay, making any other claim misleading. Put simply, the delay was caused by their incompetence in submitting a low-quality planning application late in the process.

As pointed out by KITR, the next planning committee meeting isn't until early September, and considering the raised issues, it's likely that the Council may require additional detail and public consultation, and that could lead to further delays until October.

Hence, it’s going to take at least another 8-12 weeks for the stand to be completed in line with a planning permission. I cannot believe that the EFL and the opposition sides impacted during that period will be too pleased with playing in a ground with no seats or disabled facilities for their supporters.

They’re actually a circus.
 

[RedRock]

Did I hear a rumour they’ve pre-assembled some of the structure in their car/coach park? 

Even better, if so. 
 

[Bar BS3]

7 minutes ago, Red Shadow said:

Is this their best gift ever? How much more tinpot can they get? Complete embarrassment of a football club. 

It certainly is a beauty.....

But no... it doesn't & nothing else could ever match up to being relegated to non-league by losing at home to a team wearing your own away kit - that truly was special..!

I think this is up there with Santa's Grotto though..!

[JBFC II]

8 minutes ago, Red Shadow said:

Is this their best gift ever? How much more tinpot can they get? Complete embarrassment of a football club. 

Still doesn’t beat this for me, and to be honest I doubt anything they do ever will

[Rudolf Hucker]

2 minutes ago, RedRock said:

Did I hear a rumour they’ve pre-assembled some of the structure in their car/coach park? 

Oh, I hope so!

[phantom]

I wonder which disability group will pick this up first..... 

In the UK, venues such as sports grounds are legally obliged, under the terms of the Equality Act 2010, to ensure that people with disabilities aren't disadvantaged when it comes to accessing and enjoying their facilities

[Bar BS3]

5 minutes ago, Pedrowe said:

That statement is an outright lie. The reality is that Rovers knowingly demolished part of their stadium (albeit a tent) and sold tickets without obtaining the required planning permission.

That decision involved a considerable development risk, and one they would have been fully aware of.
Having worked in planning and development for nearly 20 years, I have never come across such reckless behaviour from what should be a professional organisation.

Although they now admit that the stand won't be ready, they had complete control over the factors that caused the delay, making any other claim misleading. Put simply, the delay was caused by their incompetence in submitting a low-quality planning application late in the process.

As pointed out by KITR, the next planning committee meeting isn't until early September, and considering the raised issues, it's likely that the Council may require additional detail and public consultation, and that could lead to further delays until October.

Hence, it’s going to take at least another 8-12 weeks for the stand to be completed in line with a planning permission. I cannot believe that the EFL and the opposition sides impacted during that period will be too pleased with playing in a ground with no seats or disabled facilities for their supporters.

They’re actually a circus.
 

Just asking out of interest, for a friend....

What sort of circumstances may disrupt a planning committee meeting & cause it to be delayed by a month or six....?

[Kid in the Riot]

2 minutes ago, Bar BS3 said:

It certainly is a beauty.....

But no... it doesn't & nothing else could ever match up to being relegated to non-league by losing at home to a team wearing your own away kit - that truly was special..!

I think this is up there with Santa's Grotto though..!

Getting knocked out of the League Cup before the first round will always be my favourite. 

[Homer Simpson]

1 minute ago, phantom said:

I wonder which disability group will pick this up first..... 

In the UK, venues such as sports grounds are legally obliged, under the terms of the Equality Act 2010, to ensure that people with disabilities aren't disadvantaged when it comes to accessing and enjoying their facilities

Are they exempt if there are no facilities to enjoy?

[Taz]

1 hour ago, elhombrecito said:

"Due to issues outside the club's control"

Sums them up completely. Not their fault, BCC have let us down. BCC are useless, but even a blind man can see where the fault lies here.

2 minutes ago, RedRock said:

Did I hear a rumour they’ve pre-assembled some of the structure in their car/coach park? 

Even better, if so. 
 

There was something mentioned about parts/sections somewhere around the ruins the other day. Probably about 10 pages back now because of the stupidity of the village idiots.

[Bar BS3]

1 minute ago, Kid in the Riot said:

Getting knocked out of the League Cup before the first round will always be my favourite. 

That was hilarious- but does it trump not qualifying for the post 1st round league Cup play off - by not being in the football league..?!

[cider hoss rules]

It’s ok, according to Henbury Ass it has already been through planning and is just waiting to be ratified ……. it must be true if he says so, after all he has no history of fibbing does he!
 

Edited August 2, 2023 by cider hoss rules

[Taz]

Just now, cider hoss rules said:

It’s ok, according to Henbury Ass it is already been through planning and is just waiting to be ratified ……. it must be true if he says so, after all he has no history of fibbing does he!
 

He's probably hacked into the councils secure server so knows exactly what he's talking about. He is an IT wiz after all. Did you know that he also used to look after all of the computers used at Ashton Gate? 

[BS3City]

Got the day off tomorrow, think I might take a trip up to the Mem Stad to see what's occurring. 

Any suggestions how I should cleanse myself on my return?

[Swede]

1 hour ago, phantom said:

"Due to issues outside of our control" So its the Council's fault they didn't submit any detailed information in time, only the fag packet sketch.

It's the local resident's fault that they didn't turn up at 4pm on a weekday at 24 hours notice for the public consultation.

I pity the 500 Barnsley fans who will be shoe horned into that corner of the dump. Half of them will have a lovely view of the dodgy building site in front of them because they've moved the pitch further away already to accommodate the wonderfully tacky meccano stand.

As usual it's everyone else's fault bar their own. Absolute shambolic and totally tinpot

[glynriley]

1 minute ago, BS3City said:

Got the day off tomorrow, think I might take a trip up to the Mem Stad to see what's occurring. 

Any suggestions how I should cleanse myself on my return?

A shower. 

Bristol Rovers are a complete shower. 

[Bristol Rob]

2 minutes ago, BS3City said:

Got the day off tomorrow, think I might take a trip up to the Mem Stad to see what's occurring. 

Any suggestions how I should cleanse myself on my return?

Shower should do.

I assume you will piss yourself laughing.

1 minute ago, glynriley said:

A shower. 

Bristol Rovers are a complete shower. 

JINX.

NO RETURNS.

[phantom]

Twitter is very amusing this evening 

Like shooting fish in a barrel 

[Kid in the Riot]

18 minutes ago, Bar BS3 said:

That was hilarious- but does it trump not qualifying for the post 1st round league Cup play off - by not being in the football league..?!

For me, being a league club and failing to qualify for the League Cup will never be beaten. I assume they are the only club in the history of English football ever to achieve this incredibly embarrassing feat? 

[Sleepy1968]

1 hour ago, Silvio Dante said:

That’s a very interesting point. Barnsley may have agreed to the no accessible/disabled tickets but there if no guarantee every team will. This could run and run.

You know what, I'd love it if it wasn't up to Barnsley to agree to this. Like it was enshrined in legislation. And fan groups started suing ...

[RedHienz]

The list of mistakes and embarrassment to befall the Barcelona of league one/two/division five is staggering.

[NcnsBcfc]

2 hours ago, phantom said:

Exactly what "mitigating circumstances " are they on about? They royally f##ked up, by demolishing the existing stand(s)/gazebos and thought they could just do what they want by building a new one straight away.

That's not "mitigation ", that's just plain awful mis-management.

[phantom]

11 minutes ago, Sleepy1968 said:

You know what, I'd love it if it wasn't up to Barnsley to agree to this. Like it was enshrined in legislation. And fan groups started suing ...

It is a legal requirement that disabled facilities have to be provided, the equalities act 2010 covers this 

I'm sure someone associated with disability charities etc would know of more 

[Port Said Red]

Well it could be worse apparently, according to some we are just as bad because our Reward Scheme is a bit shit. 

[Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan]

54 minutes ago, Red Shadow said:

Is this their best gift ever? 

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

[Mr Roper]

9 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Horse Punching 

Boob Cricket

[Whitchurch]

The icing on the cake will be when we draw them away in the cup and they have to allocate us their precious terrace behind the goal due to regulations

[SirColinOfMansfield]

Best comment on Twitter ...

"Are Bristol Rovers a shambles club and morally bankrupt because Joey Barton is there or is Joey Barton there because they are a shambles club that is morally bankrupt?"

[bert tann]

30 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Peter you are forgetting the scandal of the waiters from the Four Seasons Hotel who were paid to come to Britain and pose as football club investors.

[Slack]

They need their own TV show for this season urgently...

In all seriousness, is there a minimum amount of seats a club has to have in the EFL?

[SirColinOfMansfield]

34 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

Not forgetting the great Feng Shui Scam!

Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers

A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters.

Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times.

Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium.

Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0.

Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question."

Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2.

One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui.

The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being.

Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance.

The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2000/jan/20/newsstory.sport1

[Red-Robbo]

42 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

 

Excellent work, but I'd put the "Row M" fiasco, Babestation and the fake Fanta fine into the mix.

[SirColinOfMansfield]

46 minutes ago, Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan said:

As hilarious as this is, it probably only just makes it in the top 10 ‘gifts’ we’ve had from them in the last decade. That’s how embarrassing they are as a football club.

My list in order:

1) Relegated to Non League by a team wearing their kit

2) Losing Matty Taylor to us for peanuts after saying he wouldn’t go for less than £10 million.

3) Sainsbury’s screwing them over

4) Tent Stands

5) Santas Grotto

6) The Worlds worst open top bus tour

7) Joey Barton taking them to the Basement

8  This stand fiasco

9) Getting knocked out of the FA Vase by Bath City

10) the ‘Unlucky da shit’ video

Its likely that I’ll suddenly remember some other giant Rovers related **** up that should be in this top 10 (there’s been so many) so it’s worth bearing in mind that the order can change but number 1 will always be number 1 

 

 

 

Can't forget the Infamous Minibus Headbutter...

[StGeorge]

1 hour ago, Pedrowe said:

They’re actually a circus

They were until they demolished  their tents....... 

[Peter O Hanraha-hanrahan]

28 minutes ago, Red-Robbo said:

 

Excellent work, but I'd put the "Row M" fiasco, Babestation and the fake Fanta fine into the mix.

I removed Babestation from the top 10 when I remembered the open top bus tour 
 

1 hour ago, Mr Roper said:

Horse Punching 

Comes under the relegation to Non League along with the Wycombe pitch invasion the week before and their fans on Twentymans radio show 

[zippycar]

3 hours ago, Kid in the Riot said:

Not true. The backlog is much greater. Six months +

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

Edited August 3, 2023 by zippycar

[chowie]

48 minutes ago, zippycar said:

My source at Bristol City Council had a meeting today where they were advised that there are almost 150 December 2022 planning applications that have yet to be assigned to a planning officer and overall almost 1200 applications that are sat in BCC's backlog.

So it's irrelevant when the next planning committe sit, as the application hasn't even been processed and is unlikely to be looked at until well into 2024.

This state of affairs will have been (is) well known by any professional dealing with planning applications as its been building up since Covid, so I can only assume that Billy Smart & Co. are advising the Sags.

So you think they will have no new stand for the whole season?

[Taz]

5 hours ago, SirColinOfMansfield said:

Not forgetting the great Feng Shui Scam!

Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers

A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters.

Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times.

 

Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium.

Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0.

Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question."

Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2.

One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui.

The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being.

Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance.

The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2000/jan/20/newsstory.sport1

How have I not read about this before!? Gullible prats will fall for anything, no wonder Wally is so well liked.