Bristol R*vers dustbin thread

[Bristol Rob]

14 minutes ago, TV Tom said:

Apparently everyone was running around trying to find a shilling for the phone call only to find that the phone box had been vandalised anyway…….Tinpot 

Pigeon got lost.

[Red Army 75]

What a tinpot outfit they are. I was expecting to see pictures of him , with a rovers scarf above his head sat it there new stand. Oh wait they buggered up that paperwork as well.

 

[95red]

A bit like us when we  pretended we were  buying Dwight  Gayle  no way we could  afford his wages all done to wip up excitement  

[Dolman Block B]

https://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/sport/football/peterborough-united/jonson-clarke-harris-remains-a-peterborough-united-player-after-an-agreed-move-to-bristol-rovers-collapsed-4278057

 

[Jacki]

Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa this is bloody magic.

What a stain in the city of Bristol they really are. 

[Port Said Red]

35 minutes ago, Brann-red said:

I thoroughly enjoyed watching the optimism turn into disbelief-  my favourite moment was the below when you had “ITK” posters saying to be calm and composed and then a reality hitting home that in fact all was not calm and they’d failed to do the paperwork . 
a very amusing end to the day .. couldn’t happen to a nicer club . 

 

If that time line is right, it just confirms what @slartibartfast and I said, 90 minutes to get the paperwork done? What were they doing sitting around and celebrating the signing with fake Fanta and stale crisps, until someone realised that they had all left the paperwork to someone else? 

[Lanterne Rouge]

12 minutes ago, Taz said:

So has this all been confirmed as actually happening?

I would say in no world would a professional club bid for a player whilst more than doubling their own transfer record, fail to complete and send off the paperwork in time for the transfer to be completed - but then I remember who we're talking about!!!

At least nobody will be talking about their incomplete planning permission for the new meccano set for a while.....

This does smell like Wally pulling a stunt to get the gullible few back on side whilst having no intention of ever completing the deal in the first place.....

This. He`s been getting the dribblers all worked up into a circle jerk frenzy and they all think what a guy he is when in reality he had no intention of doing the deal and he can now blame the pesky EFL or something. `Honest lads, we were all set to go but the powers that be thwarted us again`.

The gift never stops giving does it?

[Coombsy]

3 minutes ago, Port Said Red said:

If that time line is right, it just confirms what @slartibartfast and I said, 90 minutes to get the paperwork done? What were they doing sitting around and celebrating the signing with fake Fanta and stale crisps, until someone realised that they had all left the paperwork to someone else? 

It’s always someone  fault, 

yes their own

[Lanterne Rouge]

3 minutes ago, Port Said Red said:

If that time line is right, it just confirms what @slartibartfast and I said, 90 minutes to get the paperwork done? What were they doing sitting around and celebrating the signing with fake Fanta and stale crisps, until someone realised that they had all left the paperwork to someone else? 

Who had gone home and left it locked in his filing cabinet (you don`t leave anything lying about over there with their record of thievery) and his phone was off due to him settling down for his evening Babestation session.

[Numero Uno]

21 minutes ago, Taz said:

So has this all been confirmed as actually happening?

I would say in no world would a professional club bid for a player whilst more than doubling their own transfer record, fail to complete and send off the paperwork in time for the transfer to be completed - but then I remember who we're talking about!!!

At least nobody will be talking about their incomplete planning permission for the new meccano set for a while.....

This does smell like Wally pulling a stunt to get the gullible few back on side whilst having no intention of ever completing the deal in the first place.....

I do wonder. Any professional outfit would have ensured that all paperwork that was able to be complete was filled in hours before and if no move materialised you just chuck it away. All it should have needed was the final information and signatures by 9:30pm last night when McAntony tweeted that he had given the parties permission to finalise the deal. You would have thought 90 minutes to finalise terms and signatures given this circus has been going on for days, and Rovers would have spoken to JCH whatever the protocls say, would have been plenty.

Wael is either totally incompetent or has the tent enders on strings..........wonder what Joseph thinks - just been given his Get Out Of Jail Free card I would have thought....................I just realise what I wrote there!!

[italian dave]

17 minutes ago, Lanterne Rouge said:

This. He`s been getting the dribblers all worked up into a circle jerk frenzy and they all think what a guy he is when in reality he had no intention of doing the deal and he can now blame the pesky EFL or something. `Honest lads, we were all set to go but the powers that be thwarted us again`.

The gift never stops giving does it?

Gaschat is a funny read this morning.

To be fair, many of them are calling it out for just what it is. “The most Bristol Rovers thing ever to happen to Bristol Rovers” I liked!

Although a few of them blaming Peterborough of course!!!!! 

[Numero Uno]

2 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Gaschat is a funny read this morning.

To be fair, many of them are calling it out for just what it is. “The most Bristol Rovers thing ever to happen to Bristol Rovers” I liked!

Although a few of them blaming Peterborough of course!!!!! 

Whilst the indignant were proclaiming massive ambition by Rovers, much more than us, and wondering why we were all here laughing.........

Wonder whether Wally is carried shoulder high up the Gloucester Road this afternoon?

[Lanterne Rouge]

13 minutes ago, Numero Uno said:

I do wonder. Any professional outfit would have ensured that all paperwork that was able to be complete was filled in hours before and if no move materialised you just chuck it away. All it should have needed was the final information and signatures by 9:30pm last night when McAntony tweeted that he had given the parties permission to finalise the deal. You would have thought 90 minutes to finalise terms and signatures given this circus has been going on for days, and Rovers would have spoken to JCH whatever the protocls say, would have been plenty.

Wael is either totally incompetent or has the tent enders on strings..........wonder what Joseph thinks - just been given his Get Out Of Jail Free card I would have thought....................I just realise what I wrote there!!

I reckon Darragh is having a little chuckle into his muesli this morning too. He`s had them on strings all week and finally says `Ah, go on then` only for them to **** it up royally.

I doubt he was bothered either way but he`s had a good laugh out of it.

[formerly known as ivan]

1 hour ago, Numero Uno said:

What you and @formerly known as ivanhave spectacularly failed to recognise is that for us to pull of the equivalent transfer as the one that Rovers have just failed to achieve (by design to appear ambitious?) is that not only do you need £15m (yes we have that) you also have to pay £40k per week wages. A club at the top of its wage budget. For clarity £10-£15m players do not play for £7-£15k per week which is where the majority of our wage budget stands.

What you fail to recognise was at no point did I say we should pay the equivalent of what rovers were prepared to pay for a proven goal scorer. I was merely stating the fact that people were mocking rovers for trying to sign JCH which showed more ambition from them than our owners have showed. No where did I say we should be signing anyone for £15m! Christ, a loan deal for a striker would have been something! But no, SL doesn’t want to spend money on the football club.

[Gazred]

Paperwork...again! Hahaha.

'routine work involving written documents such as reports or letters.'

Routine Gasheads, routine.

Tinpot *******

[Numero Uno]

Just now, Lanterne Rouge said:

I reckon Darragh is having a little chuckle into his muesli this morning too. He`s had them on strings all week and finally says `Ah, go on then` only for them to **** it up royally.

I doubt he was bothered either way but he`s had a good laugh out of it.

Took the piss out of Wally on Sky TV who apparently was literally stalking him on Facetime yesterday.

[Red Army 75]

Bully boy Barton won’t be happy.  

Edited September 2, 2023 by Red Army 75

[Riaz]

7 hours ago, Selred said:

I haven’t said we haven’t shown ambition. I have said we haven’t shown ambition similar since we were in league one. 

5.5m Famara

8m Kalas

see what you mean

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Can't help thinking this was done accidentally on purpose to appease the gullible dribblers.

Must be time for another artists impression of a proposed new stadium soon.

Whopping belters.

[Numero Uno]

Just now, formerly known as ivan said:

What you fail to recognise was at no point did I say we should pay the equivalent of what rovers were prepared to pay for a proven goal scorer. I was merely stating the fact that people were mocking rovers for trying to sign JCH which showed more ambition from them than our owners have showed. No where did I say we should be signing anyone for £15m! Christ, a loan deal for a striker would have been something! But no, SL doesn’t want to spend money on the football club.

Selred definitely stated that we hadn't made an equivalent signing. I totally agree with you on the "we should have done something to make Nige's life easier" bit as it happens. Only one man responsible for that and it certainly ain't Nige, I'm glad you've recognised it (and most others by now). It's about time the underlying issue, the common denominator at the club responsible for messing things up on the PLAYING side of the club got called out after getting away completely blameless for 22 years or whatever it is.

[Maesknoll Red]

Whether this was a deliberate ploy to rouse the blue few with fake ambition or yet another administration error, it’s comedy gold from them again.  The gift that keeps on giving……

 

[Numero Uno]

I'm sure most of us went to bed last night thinking "fair play Rovers, you've actually shown some ambition for once". Don't get me wrong, signing zillions of loan players, sending the one promising young lad they do have to Bromley as the Manager is never going to play him, and buying 29 year olds for club record transfer fees is shite business and not the way you build a football club but it APPEARED they are trying to do something for their fans. Then you wake up and it really is "Business as Usual" out there. Wael has stitched them up, again!! Anyone who wonders why this thread exists got their answer at about midnight.

[HoldenBall]

They sold one of their strikers too to make way for JCH last night too. That went through absolutely fine  

This is easily up there as the funniest moment in rovers history. This is what happens when a pisspot tiny little outfit deal with a bit of money to spend. 
 

Seeing those cretins have a good feeling about their club and signings whilst we seem to be on the edge of anger and frustration with our owners it does sting a bit.  My god though does this help

Edited September 2, 2023 by HoldenBall

[Open End Numb Legs]

Well that's a funny start to the weekend, thanks to everyone involved.

They were supposed to have gained a forward but have ended up net 2 down.

It will be interesting to see what JB makes of all this. Will the new co owner want someone to blame? What if the blame sits with a mate of JB?

[Southport Red]

23 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Gaschat is a funny read this morning.

To be fair, many of them are calling it out for just what it is. “The most Bristol Rovers thing ever to happen to Bristol Rovers” I liked!

Although a few of them blaming Peterborough of course!!!!! 

I think Rovers should Sue Wycombe Wanderers over this.

[Barrs Court Red]

Went to bed before the window shut, and wake up to see the gift had delivered once again.

 

Ground, ground, ground and they forgot about the fax machine. 

[Numero Uno]

4 minutes ago, Open End Numb Legs said:

Well that's a funny start to the weekend, thanks to everyone involved.

They were supposed to have gained a forward but have ended up net 2 down.

It will be interesting to see what JB makes of all this. Will the new co owner want someone to blame? What if the blame sits with a mate of JB?

I'm sure he'll be as understanding as Nige was when talking about budgets the other day......

[Miah Dennehy]

I've spent all night trying to come up with a witty post about how many Tillsons in a Clarke-Harris and now this!

I blame the ref.

[Numero Uno]

2 minutes ago, Southport Red said:

I think Rovers should Sue Wycombe Wanderers over this.

Teds highjacked the WiFi connection................

[42nite]

Have you plugged the fax machine in yet Wally?

 

These things take time!

 

[Son of Fred]

4 minutes ago, Miah Dennehy said:

I've spent all night trying to come up with a witty post about how many Tillsons in a Clarke-Harris and now this!

I blame the ref.

With inflation, less than one Tillson.

Well,were both in the same boat now - just the one centre forward each .

[Red Army 75]

Like there stand. Blaming it on everyone else.
 

Driving over the bridge with a smile on my face this morning. Thanks tinpot fc 

[Bristol Rob]

Wonder if the knock on from this is partly responsible.

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/bristol-rovers-club-secretary-departs-8270527

 

[Dolman Block B]

12 minutes ago, Miah Dennehy said:

I've spent all night trying to come up with a witty post about how many Tillsons in a Clarke-Harris and now this!

I blame the ref.

Did you read this from the Peterborough post?

Total joke the Gas not having the paperwork sorted 

And in Jan he will have 6 months left on his contract and may well hang fire to become a free agent 

 

https://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/sport/football/peterborough-united/jonson-clarke-harris-remains-a-peterborough-united-player-after-an-agreed-move-to-bristol-rovers-collapsed-4278057

[Riaz]

People are really trying to claim that a 800k bid for a failed championship striker, is more ambitious than the millions we spent on:

Bentley, Famara, Kalas, Wells, Massengo, Palmer, Dasilva, Knight, etc etc 

I want some of what your smoking

[ExiledAjax]

Administrative errors by big clubs are always a highlight of transfer deadline day. Last season it was Chelsea, Spurs and Blackburn, and it's nice to see the smaller clubs have the ambition to try and emulate those teams. Fair play to Rovers for getting their fax machine Premier League ready.

Ps. Who's going to break the news to this guy?

 

[Selred]

32 minutes ago, Riaz said:

5.5m Famara

8m Kalas

see what you mean

Ah didn’t realise Famara won the Championship golden boot twice when we signed him! 

Kalas as I later clarified could be agreed as a top proven championship player. Still was 4 years ago. 

[Sir Colby-Tit]

[Taz]

17 minutes ago, Barrs Court Red said:

Went to bed before the window shut, and wake up to see the gift had delivered once again.

 

Ground, ground, ground and they forgot about the fax machine. 

 

13 minutes ago, 42nite said:

Have you plugged the fax machine in yet Wally?

 

These things take time!

 

The issue isn't with Wallys fax machine, it's more the fact that in 2023 nobody else is using one anymore so it wouldnt go through!!!

[The Gasbuster]

19 minutes ago, Numero Uno said:

Teds highjacked the WiFi connection................

The fax machine is a Ted

[Hello Dave]

7 minutes ago, Selred said:

Ah didn’t realise Famara won the Championship golden boot twice when we signed him! 

Kalas as I later clarified could be agreed as a top proven championship player. Still was 4 years ago. 

I tend to agree with a lot you posted last night. It would’ve been a great signing for them, and I wouldn’t have been diss appointed if we’d took a punt on him. Some of the players mentioned that we’ve signed in the past, just goes to show how much we’ve ******* wasted!!

[i_am_red]

It’s been a bit bleak being a City fan these past few days but the news of Vyner signing a contract and the gift delivering again actually cheered me up.

[Numero Uno]

Just now, Hello Dave said:

I tend to agree with a lot you posted last night. It would’ve been a great signing for them, and I wouldn’t have been diss appointed if we’d took a punt on him. Some of the players mentioned that we’ve signed in the past, just goes to show how much we’ve ******* wasted!!

We don't sign players for £800K with no re-sale value any more............because the Owner finally realised the bit highlighted (it won't be his fault mind). This was literally a shit or bust signing by Rovers albeit his scoring record at the level gives any buyer a very high degree of confidence he will score 20+ goals (far better than his record at the level above btw so it would have been a pretty shite "punt" had we gone for him imo).

[italian dave]

2 minutes ago, Numero Uno said:

We don't sign players for £800K with no re-sale value any more............because the Owner finally realised the bit highlighted (it won't be his fault mind). This was literally a shit or bust signing by Rovers albeit his scoring record at the level gives any buyer a very high degree of confidence he will score 20+ goals (far better than his record at the level above btw so it would have been a pretty shite "punt" had we gone for him imo).

Nevertheless, the one thing that would make this whole affair even funnier would be us signing JCH in January! 

[italian dave]

23 minutes ago, ExiledAjax said:

Administrative errors by big clubs are always a highlight of transfer deadline day. Last season it was Chelsea, Spurs and Blackburn, and it's nice to see the smaller clubs have the ambition to try and emulate those teams. Fair play to Rovers for getting their fax machine Premier League ready.

Ps. Who's going to break the news to this guy?

 

Whisper it….but didn’t we do something similar involving Liam Rosenior once? Can’t remember the details now. 

[Bristol Rob]

2 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Whisper it….but didn’t we do something similar involving Liam Rosenior once? Can’t remember the details now. 

Yeap, our club secretary didn't get the offer to him, so he was able to walk away. Back then there was no automatic right to compensation unless you had offered at least equivalent terms to what they were on previously.

[Numero Uno]

8 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Whisper it….but didn’t we do something similar involving Liam Rosenior once? Can’t remember the details now. 

We had to notify him of a Contract Offer by a certain date and put a second class stamp instead of a first class one on the letter........ok the last bit was artistic license but you get the drift!!

Edited September 2, 2023 by Numero Uno

[42nite]

I wonder if 'Lofty' the striker they offloaded to make way for the homecoming of the messiah is having a bit of a giggle this morning?  

[Barrs Court Red]

2 minutes ago, Numero Uno said:

We had to notify him of a Contract Offer by a certain date and put a second class stamp instead of a first class one on the letter........ok the last but was artistic license but you get the drift!!

Bears did something similar in recent years, and ended up with a few players on their squad they had wanted rid of - bad timing as it coincided with the wage cap reducing. 

[GrahamC]

7 minutes ago, Bristol Rob said:

Yeap, our club secretary didn't get the offer to him, so he was able to walk away. Back then there was no automatic right to compensation unless you had offered at least equivalent terms to what they were on previously.

Just to emphasise what a complete shambles it was we got the late Colin Sexstone to plead our case about some error & eventually were awarded the grand sum of £55k in compensation.

If you look at the career Liam Rosenior subsequently had & even though we were a far smaller operation in those days, it was tinpot in a way those jokers over the river now exhibit on a frequent basis.

Edited September 2, 2023 by GrahamC

[RedRoss]

Henbury Gas and his blind optimism getting shot down

 

[glynriley]

1 hour ago, Bristol Rob said:

Pigeon got lost.

Poor old Speckled Jim

[Open End Numb Legs]

Just now, glynriley said:

Poor old Speckled Jim

Excellent post, might be lost on some but brilliant nonetheless and a brilliant comedy series.

'Cappuccino Sir?'

[pongo88]

It must definitely be the Teds fault  - stole the fax machine, jammed the electricity meter so Rovers couldn’t put in any more coins, changed their clocks so that they thought it was an hour earlier than it was, hid their only pen so JCH couldn’t sign the forms, hacked the phone line so the fax went to Vladimir Putin etc 

[Bristol Rob]

11 minutes ago, RedRoss said:

Henbury Gas and his blind optimism getting shot down

 

Give it 5 minutes and Mitty will be back claiming he didn't post it but some City fans 'duff'd him up, stole his login, and no one saw it happen but the City fans all now have season tickets in Row M'.

[Hello Dave]

31 minutes ago, Numero Uno said:

We don't sign players for £800K with no re-sale value any more............because the Owner finally realised the bit highlighted (it won't be his fault mind). This was literally a shit or bust signing by Rovers albeit his scoring record at the level gives any buyer a very high degree of confidence he will score 20+ goals (far better than his record at the level above btw so it would have been a pretty shite "punt" had we gone for him imo).

Would he score less than what we’ve got up front at the moment?

[ExiledAjax]

25 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Whisper it….but didn’t we do something similar involving Liam Rosenior once? Can’t remember the details now. 

Dave, we can all do admin wrong. Our media team is useless, we got the semaphore wrong in our recent shirt, and we once used comic sans on a training kit. But right now, on this thread, in this moment, in this universe, and on this pale blue dot, we are laughing at a tinpot team ******* up a fax.

[The Gasbuster]

13 minutes ago, RedRoss said:

Henbury Gas and his blind optimism getting shot down

 

What a **** he is. Just. As if Posh would loan him to a rival, when he could (and will) be scoring regularly for them.

McAnthony clearly wanted the money, so it was sale, or no deal.

[Southport Red]

1 minute ago, Hello Dave said:

Would he score less than what we’ve got up front at the moment?

Who knows, look at how many Cheesley might have scored that season?

Plus, they average 1 shot on target per game, so no guarantees that that particular Goat would have been fed  

 

[Selred]

53 minutes ago, Riaz said:

People are really trying to claim that a 800k bid for a failed championship striker, is more ambitious than the millions we spent on:

Bentley, Famara, Kalas, Wells, Massengo, Palmer, Dasilva, Knight, etc etc 

I want some of what your smoking

For the division. It’s all relative. 
 

All those millions, how much did we make on Fammy, Kalas, Dasilva? 

[Numero Uno]

Just now, Hello Dave said:

Would he score less than what we’ve got up front at the moment?

That's not a reason to spend £800K on a player who then has no re-sale value is it? I understand the logic of The Few - he is likely to bang in 20 goals, get them to the play-offs and if they did go up worry about the issues that come with JCH at that point. Still a high risk strategy but a far lower risk one than us signing him particularly when the fact of the matter is we NEED BETTER than Jonson Clarke Harris rather than make do and mend like we always ******* do under this Owner's tenure.

[GrahamC]

7 minutes ago, Hello Dave said:

Would he score less than what we’ve got up front at the moment?

Definitely. Our main striker is Nakhi Wells, who scored & had one disallowed in his last game. 

Proven consistent goal scorer at this level, 160 career goals in total, excellent availability record.

Next question.

Edited September 2, 2023 by GrahamC

[Numero Uno]

1 minute ago, Selred said:

For the division. It’s all relative. 
 

All those millions, how much did we make on Fammy, Kalas, Dasilva? 

To get the best forward in the Championship you are talking at least £15m transfer fee and £40K per week wages. MINIMUM. Is that honestly what you are expecting from the club? When your ambitious mates up the road finally make it to the Championship they will not know what has hit them......................

[alexukhc]

33 minutes ago, italian dave said:

Whisper it….but didn’t we do something similar involving Liam Rosenior once? Can’t remember the details now. 

Yeah but how long ago was that?

[petehinton]

Let’s see who they + Barton blame…

The FA

Peterborough

MacAnthony

EFL

His agent 

taxi driver not driving fast enough

the bloke who knocked out the sprinklers last week 

green party

themselves for leaving it too late 

[luke_bristol]

“What’s this about dodgy fax?”

[TV Tom]

1 hour ago, formerly known as ivan said:

What you fail to recognise was at no point did I say we should pay the equivalent of what rovers were prepared to pay for a proven goal scorer. I was merely stating the fact that people were mocking rovers for trying to sign JCH which showed more ambition from them than our owners have showed. No where did I say we should be signing anyone for £15m! Christ, a loan deal for a striker would have been something! But no, SL doesn’t want to spend money on the football club.

All that seems fair enough to me, a fantastic signing if it would of happened, my only surprise is that one of the big-hitters in that division didn’t come in for him like Pompey or Derby in particular who are desperate for a striker 

[GrahamC]

3 minutes ago, petehinton said:

Let’s see who they + Barton blame…

The FA

Peterborough

MacAnthony

EFL

His agent 

taxi driver not driving fast enough

the bloke who knocked out the sprinklers last week 

green party

themselves for leaving it too late 

Could be the Bristol Post for being “unnecessarily negative” about them?

Bet his wife double locked the door when she found out, too.

[Numero Uno]

1 hour ago, HoldenBall said:

They sold one of their strikers too to make way for JCH last night too. That went through absolutely fine  

Good point!! How did Port Vale manage to get the paperwork done in about ten minutes flat!!

[Nogbad the Bad]

Let's be honest here, Clarke-Harris would have been a fantastic signing for Rovers, with a stunning record of 57 league goals in 81 games in his last 2 L1 seasons.

His record at that level shows that 20+ goals from him this season was all but guaranteed, and even at Championship level in 21/22 he scored 12 league goals, (more than our top League scorer last season) and that was for a struggling club.

They were looking disconcertingly well set for a genuine promotion push if this deal had gone through, so not only hilarious but really good news they managed to cock it up,