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The Office (UK): Ipswich Town edition


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57 minutes ago, ScottishRed said:

Yes, all valid points.

I would think that the problem Cook MAY have is players foisted on him, but probably has the strength to face that up with that nice Mr Ashton.

On a separate point I hear that he will be leading the team out at very home game to ‘Simply the best’ by Tina Turner playing over the PA system.

With his baseball cap on back to front. And Ashton 1 on his back.

Edited by Richard Head
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Apparently Ashton addressed the squad after today’s game and said “ football is a series of peaks and troughs and you don’t know if you are in a trough until you’re climbing out or on a peak until you are climbing down and that’s it, you never know what’s around the corner, if you want the rainbow you’ve got to put up with the rain. Do you know which ‘philosopher, said that he twerped? Dolly Parton, and people say she’s just a big pair of tits.

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How do people keep falling for this second car saleman's bullshit?  His ego is beginning to run riot yet again, and Ipswich will regret ever appointing him, it won't  be long before they recognise him as the turd in the punchbowl he truly is?    i feel sorry for them, but am just so relieved that we managed to get rid of him and his talentless cronies.   

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23 minutes ago, maxjak said:

How do people keep falling for this second car saleman's bullshit?  His ego is beginning to run riot yet again, and Ipswich will regret ever appointing him, it won't  be long before they recognise him as the turd in the punchbowl he truly is?    i feel sorry for them, but am just so relieved that we managed to get rid of him and his talentless cronies.   

It won’t be him that gets the boot though….his mate Mike O’Leary is the Chairman and the link into Gamechanger, the owners.

BE505919-FFB3-40DE-B6A6-4E128B284B54.thumb.jpeg.7a6dc5402b65ce41177759dd5b97f84a.jpeg

Is he so insecure he needs his name 3 times in the who’s who….Werhun twice….Rolls and Costin in there too.

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16 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

It won’t be him that gets the boot though….his mate Mike O’Leary is the Chairman and the link into Gamechanger, the owners.

BE505919-FFB3-40DE-B6A6-4E128B284B54.thumb.jpeg.7a6dc5402b65ce41177759dd5b97f84a.jpeg

Is he so insecure he needs his name 3 times in the who’s who….Werhun twice….Rolls and Costin in there too.

First team fitness coach Jon Ashton - any relation ?

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1 hour ago, maxjak said:

How do people keep falling for this second car saleman's bullshit?  His ego is beginning to run riot yet again, and Ipswich will regret ever appointing him, it won't  be long before they recognise him as the turd in the punchbowl he truly is?    i feel sorry for them, but am just so relieved that we managed to get rid of him and his talentless cronies.   

64545224.jpg

 

 

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Today on BBC Transfer News

 

Paperwork, not points at Portman Road

Ipswich Town have signed winger Bersant Celina on a season-long loan from French side Dijon, pending international clearance.

Kosovo international Celina, 24, had a season-long loan spell at Ipswich in the 2017-18 campaign and becomes their 18TH signing of the summer transfer window.

Ipswich are 21st in League One, with no wins so far this season.

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22 minutes ago, KernowRed said:

Today on BBC Transfer News

 

Paperwork, not points at Portman Road

Ipswich Town have signed winger Bersant Celina on a season-long loan from French side Dijon, pending international clearance.

Kosovo international Celina, 24, had a season-long loan spell at Ipswich in the 2017-18 campaign and becomes their 18TH signing of the summer transfer window.

Ipswich are 21st in League One, with no wins so far this season.

I don't know a huge amount about him but Ipswich fans are very pleased. Apparently he was excellent for them before.

18 signings is an enormous amount though, surely any club would struggle to bed in that many new players regardless how strong. 

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41 minutes ago, Phileas Fogg said:

I don't know a huge amount about him but Ipswich fans are very pleased. Apparently he was excellent for them before.

18 signings is an enormous amount though, surely any club would struggle to bed in that many new players regardless how strong. 

It starts to suggest that the strategy of just signing loads of players in the hope that they fit together and/or one or two saleable assets emerge may have been more down to Ashton’s influence than Johnson’s?

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18 players over 25.

Cook used the size of Ipswich's bloated squad and number of loanees as an excuse for their poor performance after he came in last season. At the start of this summer he said he wanted and was looking forward to working with a smaller, more tight knit squad as that's far more conducive to getting performances and results.

Since then they've filled and exceeded reasonable squad numbers again and used their full allocation of loan spots. Either Cook's arse has fallen out, he's that drunk that he doesn'tremember what he's said or Ashton has morecontrol of their transfer activity than Cook does.

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This is already starting to look like us all over again while Ashton was here.  I know Ipswich didn’t exactly set the division slight last season, but surely they didn’t need this many new signings.  

MA is increasingly looking like that shopaholic who gets a buzz out of buying new things, but after a short time, they don’t feel new any more and he just wants to go out and buy more.

I’m sure their fans are lapping it up, as under Mad Mick, the old owners kept the purse strings very tight.  Once the reality sinks in that they are lumbered with a team of misfits, they won’t be so happy.

Ok, he could surprise us and actually make more of a go of it with a strong manager in place, but after witnessing the total train wreck he turned our club into, I certainly wouldn’t put any money on it and can only see a few years of pain coming up for ITFC fans.

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1 minute ago, Marco the red said:

Have very little time for teams who try and buy a league, add in mark ashton would would very amusing to see them not go up.

Mark ashton is interested in mark ashton 

Absolutely mate.  

I’ve got nothing against Ipswich and actually think of them as a proper football club.  

That said, now they’ve got that parasitic slimeball there, I won’t be wishing them any good fortune whatsoever.

I put him on a par with agents as the most destructive, self centred scum of the football world.

 

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4 hours ago, italian dave said:

It starts to suggest that the strategy of just signing loads of players in the hope that they fit together and/or one or two saleable assets emerge may have been more down to Ashton’s influence than Johnson’s?

I would have liked to have seen Johnson without Ashton.

I suppose we'll only know judging by whether Sunderland fly past us on the way to the Prem, or whether he gets sacked mid season for being off the pace

 

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On 06/08/2021 at 18:25, miser said:

I'm a Guardian reader, but christ they do write some crap at times. I suspect the author didn't actually visit Ipswich. 

 

I was a reporter once. It is never your job to call someone an arsehole in your stories.

But you can give the reader a hint of their personality in the selection of quotes from that person you run.

I did similar with a particular [non-West Country] council leader on many occasions. Except his quotes made him sound like Kim Jong Un rather than David Brent. 

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1 hour ago, AshtonYate said:

This is so cringe

 

Not a picture of the new signing, its a picture of himself!!!!!!!!!

 

MarkAshton.jpg

"Welcome back to Ashton, um, sorry Ipswich Town young man. If there's anything you need to know about football, life or the universe, I'm your man. This fella? This is Paul, he'll be your manager for the next few weeks"

 

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1 hour ago, Silvio Dante said:

They’ve just signed another one - Sam Morsy. Decent get that.

Ashtons post window self wankfest is going to have to be released as a six part tissue box set as opposed to a single interview.

Fixed it for you.

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2 minutes ago, GrahamC said:

On Twitter Ipswich fans uniformly think he is some sort of genius.

Their wage bill must be frightening if they don’t go up, them & Sheffield Wednesday are gambling wildly on promotion.

Give it a while and they'll think he's a penius...

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12 minutes ago, GrahamC said:

On Twitter Ipswich fans uniformly think he is some sort of genius.

Their wage bill must be frightening if they don’t go up, them & Sheffield Wednesday are gambling wildly on promotion.

Problem exacerbated by it probably being the most competitive Lg1 in years, stronger than 14/15, and that had some good teams in it.

Big gamble they will gel….there are “teams” in Lg1 who will make it very tough for Ipswich….most of them will be raise their game against the so-called superstars.

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2 hours ago, richyy66 said:

New chief executive Mark Ashton has delivered a signing, on average, once every five days since taking charge at the start of June. 

Just think of all that cash he is spunking....He just loves spending other peoples money. Bloke is a nutcase..

 

its not about that though is it.hes got to be taking backhanders or bonuses for signings,ive never known anyone else  orchestrate so many

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6 minutes ago, redsquirrel said:

its not about that though is it.hes got to be taking backhanders or bonuses for signings,ive never known anyone else  orchestrate so many

His wife (ex-wife) has a company doing travel, house hunting etc for pro footballers….creaming money out of football.  I’d love to see the detailed accounts of a couple of his other businesses.  Id love to see the money trail of some of our deals over the years too!

2 minutes ago, redsquirrel said:

doesnt say much for paul cook either if he needs all those new players

Very disappointed.  Really wanted him here.  Heard some shit from a Portsmouth fan last week re his time there, and don’t mind saying I was wrong about him….dodged one I think.  What does it say for him that Ashton turned him down last summer.

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3 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

His wife (ex-wife) has a company doing travel, house hunting etc for pro footballers….creaming money out of football.  I’d love to see the detailed accounts of a couple of his other businesses.  Id love to see the money trail of some of our deals over the years too!

Very disappointed.  Really wanted him here.  Heard some shit from a Portsmouth fan last week re his time there, and don’t mind saying I was wrong about him….dodged one I think.  What does it say for him that Ashton turned him down last summer.

if they do get promoted, would it automatically mean a big pay rise for those players?

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