I am totally confused about Bristol City poets

[Never to the dark side]

Thought I would listen to Radio Bristol on Saturday after 6pm with up load about Bristol City poets.

That's time I will never get back,nothing to do with football its about the City of Bristol.

I know a few years ago there was a Bristol City follower who wrote poems ABOUT Bristol City

Top of my head it was a guy called Calloway and it was titled something Bristol City ruined my day and made my life

I do have the audio cassette some where,can any recall the audio tape?

[Silvio Dante]

“There was a young coach called Manning

Who was obsessed with technical planning

But he forgot the biggest bit

Was to ensure we didn’t play shit

And have Sinclair Armstrong miss a tap in”

[Abraham Romanovich]

There was young man named Manning

Who understood football through planning

If it wasn't so boring

We 'd try and stop snoring

And on OTIB give him  less of a panning.

(with thanks to John Betjeman)

 

Edited Sunday at 08:42 by Abraham Romanovich

[Roe]

There once was a man named Brian,

Who's teknical skills we rely on,

He promised progress,

Front foot no less,

Turns out that the muppet was lyin'

[Roe]

There was another called Jon,

Given with a pen and crayon,

His designs aren't the best,

We've a dodgy new crest,

Now please just **** off and move on

[slartibartfast]

26 minutes ago, Abraham Romanovich said:

There was young man named Manning

Who understood football through planning

If it wasn't so boring

We 'd try and stop snoring

And on OTIB give him  less of a panning.

(with thanks to John Betjeman)

 

With that in mind.......

Come friendly bombs and fall on the Minimal

And rid us of these foes subliminal

Take the stench away from here

And give us back our Bristol clear

of mutant sister lovers .

[One Team]

The was a club owner called Steve

Whose fans all wished he would leave

They’d chant “come back Nige!”

And he’d love to oblige

And go up to the Premier League

[Lorenzos Only Goal]

I call this one Hi Yu.

 

Bristol City a club so sad.

It's owners were so very bad.

Fans patience no longer shines.

 

Edited Sunday at 09:29 by Lorenzos Only Goal

[David Brent]

Brian Tinnion

What has he done to our club

Liam Manning too

[Davefevs]

There was a young man called Lansdown 

As a Chairman he’d had our pants down

Wanted a coach on the grass

High press, Front foot football my ass

He ended up taking us down

 

[FNQ]

Oh my God Brian the fans are uprising

Well f#uck me Jon it’s hardly surprising 

Manningballs crap, why should we take the wrap

Lets sack the **** in the morning

 

 

 

[Olé]

It's remarkable how few words I had to change.

 

If, by Rudyard Kipling (Dolman Stand season ticket holder)

If you can keep your head when all around you

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make the same three substitutions too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Sideways passing, painful on the eyes,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

 

If you can dream—for example football played faster;

    If you can think—how boring can I make this game,

If you can meet with both Triumph and Disaster

    And treat Bristol City fans to something so lame:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

    "Once beat Southampton", let’s take them for fools,

Other than that Jesus this football is totally broken,

    Sleep inducing shite despite given all the tools;

 

If you can make one heap of when you’re winning

    Stoke, Derby, Blackburn away didn’t give a toss,

And we lose, 0-4, 0-3, 0-3 despite your spinning,

    ⁠And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force feed fans one up top not 4-4-2

    To serve up shite—they all wish you were gone,

And clinging on when there is nothing to you

    ⁠Except the reason you’re still here: ’Tinnion!’

 

If you can empty crowds but keep your tactics,

    Front foot football—do we really need another touch,

If neither midfield nor wing can get it in the mix,

    All men count your passes, but far too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds' worth of midfield possession,

Wasting Earthy, Twine and everything that’s in it,

    ⁠And—which is more—Liam Manning, you’re done.

 

[broodje]

We are the City

Ashton Gate is where we play

Football. **** the Gas.

 

[The dastardly red]

Grass grows under feet

I fly down the wing for you

Horizon stays grey

[Lorenzos Only Goal]

25 minutes ago, The dastardly red said:

Grass grows under feet

I fly down the wing for you

Horizon stays grey

Exceptional haiku

[RoystonFoote'snephew]

3 hours ago, One Team said:

The was a club owner called Steve

Whose fans all wished he would leave

They’d chant “come back Nige!”

And he’d love to oblige

And go up to the Premier League

No they don't. Just a few on here. 

[Superjack]

I will shout

Lansdowns out

And take the snake

For all our sake 

[Eddie Hitler]

Oh I was told

That there are two teams 

In Bristol 

But there is only one

[richwwtk]

6 hours ago, Never to the dark side said:

Thought I would listen to Radio Bristol on Saturday after 6pm with up load about Bristol City poets.

That's time I will never get back,nothing to do with football its about the City of Bristol.

I know a few years ago there was a Bristol City follower who wrote poems ABOUT Bristol City

Top of my head it was a guy called Calloway and it was titled something Bristol City ruined my day and made my life

I do have the audio cassette some where,can any recall the audio tape?

Gareth Calway I think, I had the CD

@Bristol Rob knew him fairly well, from memory

[Sir Leigh of Somerset]

3 hours ago, Olé said:

It's remarkable how few words I had to change.

 

If, by Rudyard Kipling (Dolman Stand season ticket holder)

If you can keep your head when all around you

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make the same three substitutions too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Sideways passing, painful on the eyes,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

 

If you can dream—for example football played faster;

    If you can think—how boring can I make this game,

If you can meet with both Triumph and Disaster

    And treat Bristol City fans to something so lame:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

    "Once beat Southampton", let’s take them for fools,

Other than that Jesus this football is totally broken,

    Sleep inducing shite despite given all the tools;

 

If you can make one heap of when you’re winning

    Stoke, Derby, Blackburn away didn’t give a toss,

And we lose, 0-4, 0-3, 0-3 despite your spinning,

    ⁠And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force feed fans one up top not 4-4-2

    To serve up shite—they all wish you were gone,

And clinging on when there is nothing to you

    ⁠Except the reason you’re still here: ’Tinnion!’

 

If you can empty crowds but keep your tactics,

    Front foot football—do we really need another touch,

If neither midfield nor wing can get it in the mix,

    All men count your passes, but far too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds' worth of midfield possession,

Wasting Earthy, Twine and everything that’s in it,

    ⁠And—which is more—Liam Manning, you’re done.

 

 Brilliant.....

[Bristol Rob]

9 minutes ago, richwwtk said:

Gareth Calway I think, I had the CD

@Bristol Rob knew him fairly well, from memory

Correct! 

I believe his book was called 'Bristol City, made my day but ruined my life'.

[redsquirrel]

Ole, inspired by your season ticket holder  some words from SLF. unedited

If I thought you could find a way, I'd tell you to go get lost
But why ask you to pay attention when your brain can't stand the cost?
Look at you
And the state you're in, next to you
Even a brick is thin

You oughta scratch from the human race
You are a waste of a name
A waste of time and a waste of space
You've only one claim to fame
I don't like you

If a thought came into your head, it would die of loneliness
You rate absolute zero, no more and not even less
Look at you
Oh, what a state, next to you
Short planks are underweight

You oughta scratch from the human race
You are a waste of a name
A waste of time and a waste of space
You've only one claim to fame
I don't like you

Annoyed, annoyed, no I'm not paranoid
'Cause that would mean I have to care and I couldn't be annoyed

You don't entertain ideas, you just simply bore them
You couldn't find your feet if you were looking for them
Looking at you
It's hard for me, next to you
Is nowhere to be

You oughta scratch from the human race
You are a waste of a name
A waste of time and a waste of space
You've only one claim to fame
I don't like you

[The turtle]

Front foot football was what they said,

But It barely gets me out of bed.

You see endless passing at the back,

Is a torturous way to attack.

The squad can do better was the reason,

Yet, the reset seems season after season.

So how long will this current one last?

I don't know, but please make it more fun and fast.

[Midlands Robin]

Baldrick's "The mood around Ashton Gate"

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

[Midlands Robin]

There was an academy manager called Tinnion

Who was promoted because he had no opinion 

He got Manning in

And said we would win

And that's why he's Jon Lansdown's minion

Too harsh?

[AppyDAZE]

1 hour ago, Midlands Robin said:

Baldrick's "The mood around Ashton Gate"

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

That’s good, that’s really clever. Post of the day.

Love Blackadder, it’s the best.

Edited Sunday at 21:12 by AppyDAZE

[Barrs Court Red]

Sneaky Brian waited, ready to attack 

Poor old Nige had errored, and had exposed his back 

Onward slithered Brian, and plunged the dagger deep, 

Soon Brian found his master,

he woke him from his sleep, 

“I’ve done it master, we have won”, 

their victory complete. 

The tale isn’t yet over, much to their despair,

the nerds from accursed OTIB, 

lead rebellion to their lair. 

[Mike Hunt-Hertz]

The football espoused by the Manning,

As much fun as a Roman trepanning,

Monotone guff,

Enough is enough!

Jonny Boy needs a ******* good panning.

[Mike Hunt-Hertz]

12 hours ago, Midlands Robin said:

There was an academy manager called Tinnion

Who was promoted because he had no opinion 

He got Manning in

And said we would win

And that's why he's Jon Lansdown's minion

Too harsh?

Brian Tinnion?

He ain't no Lawrence Binyon!

[spudski]

In red and white, the hopes arise,

Bristol City, beneath the skies.
A club with dreams that soar and dive,
Yet shadows linger, struggles thrive.

With chants that echo through the stands,
And loyal hearts that fill the lands,
Promises made of glory and grace,
But truth and triumph often misplace.

Season after season, the tales unfold,
Of potential bright, yet fortunes cold.
In every match, the weight of the past,
Whispers of “next time,” yet none come fast.

The lies of glory, a fleeting spark,
In hopes that fade as the nights grow dark.
Yet still they rise, the faithful few,
For love runs deep, and dreams renew.

So here’s to the journey, both harsh and sweet,
In every heartbeat, the passion beats.
Though underachieving may mark their way,
Bristol City, forever will play.

[Harry]

19 hours ago, Bristol Rob said:

Correct! 

I believe his book was called 'Bristol City, made my day but ruined my life'.

Manning the punk hasn’t had the ‘sudden impact’ expected…. 

 

Edited Monday at 10:10 by Harry

[Davefevs]

6 minutes ago, Harry said:

Manning the punk hasn’t had the ‘sudden impact’ expected…. 

 

Are you dirty, Harry?

[SydneyCity]

Web bird copier

Says that he’s a maverick

Delusion’s his art

[Silvio Dante]

21 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

Are you dirty, Harry?

“I know what you’re thinking. This is a Manning 45, one of the most boring halves in the world and it could make your head nod clean off at this distance. So, have we had six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this lack of excitement I’ve kind of forgotten myself. So you have to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well do you, punk?”

[spudski]

In Bristol's heart, where hopes align,

Stands Brian Tinnion, spinning lines.
With charm and flair, he weaves a dream,
Yet shadows linger, dimming the gleam.

Liam Manning, bright but unprepared,
Treads waters deep, where few have dared.
In tactics tangled, he struggles to steer,
As whispers of doubt grow louder each year.

The Robins soar, or so they say,
But underachievement haunts their play.
Once proud and fierce, now drifting slow,
Fans long for the fire, the passion to show.

In every match, the echoes ring,
Promises made but left in the swing.
Yet through the trials, the spirit remains,
A hope that someday, true glory regains.

 

 

In Bristol's realm, where dreams take flight,
Lies Brian Tinnion, cloaked in the night.
With words that shimmer but lack the depth,
He spins his tales, but the truth’s bereft.

Liam Manning stands, a deer in the fray,
Treading waters deep, struggling each day.
Unfamiliar ground, his vision unclear,
As fans watch their hopes dissolve into fear.

Bristol City, once fierce and bold,
Now trapped in a cycle of stories retold.
Promises made, yet victory's thin,
The weight of the past, a burden within.

In the stands, the echoes of what could be,
A longing for glory, a thirst to be free.
Yet through the struggle, a flicker remains
A hope that one day, true triumph regains.

[SydneyCity]

Coppell then Millen

McInnes, O’Driscoll, Lee

Holden and Manning.

[Oh Louie louie]

Brian many say you were the best passer in the third division.

But your history of signings are you doing your revision?

How many are fit to wear the jersey?

Some say you made a career out of one goal, the night you scored we were singing ferry across the mersey.

Millions spent what will it yield,

You bottled it once and went in goal remember that we'll a six pointer at chesterfield 

[Eddie Hitler]

Liam, this is dreadful stuff!
You spent the money fast enough;
The goals are there to miss, 'tis clear,
You give us few to make us cheer.
But oh, Southampton did we beat,
Is that enough to fill each seat?
The substitutions that you make;
They give us all the belly-ache.

 

With deep and genuinely sincere apologies to A E Housman.

[pongo88]

I wandered lonely as a cloud, 

That floats on high with my mate, 

When all at once I saw a crowd,

Heading toward Ashton Gate

Everyone hoped to see a goal

But all they got was Manningball

 

(With inspiration from William Wordsworth) 

[Ian M]

There once was a head coach called Manning

Whose football drew widespread panning

He banged on about behaviour

But wasn’t our saviour

And now we wish for his canning.

[cellist]

Shall I compare thee to a dull, grey game?
Thou art more stagnant and less inspiring,
Rough kicks do shake the play that brings no fame,
And Manning's style sees hopes of glory tiring.

Sometime too bright, our chances in the sun,
But often dimmed by passes slow and wide,
And every hope from victories we've won
Is soon cut short as passion's pace subsides.

But thy dull tactics shall not make hearts race,
Nor shall the fans in awe or joy behold,
When all thy efforts lack the thrill of chase,
And even triumph feels so far from bold.

So long as teams shall play, or fans can see,
We'll hope for better days from Bristol City.

 

With thanks to Shakespeare/ChatGPT

[SecretSam]

Bristol is my city

City are my team

I'm lactose intolerant

So I don't like cream

[Superjack]

Roses are red

So are the City

Even though currently 

They play pretty shitty

[slartibartfast]

On 14/10/2024 at 17:51, cellist said:

Shall I compare thee to a dull, grey game?
Thou art more stagnant and less inspiring,
Rough kicks do shake the play that brings no fame,
And Manning's style sees hopes of glory tiring.

Sometime too bright, our chances in the sun,
But often dimmed by passes slow and wide,
And every hope from victories we've won
Is soon cut short as passion's pace subsides.

But thy dull tactics shall not make hearts race,
Nor shall the fans in awe or joy behold,
When all thy efforts lack the thrill of chase,
And even triumph feels so far from bold.

So long as teams shall play, or fans can see,
We'll hope for better days from Bristol City.

 

With thanks to Shakespeare/ChatGPT

Thank you Kit Marlow !