The Emperor's New Clothes

[Guest uncle john]

Once upon a time some frauds came to see an Emperor. They told him they were going to weave some new clothes. Everyone was told that these would be special clothes, and so when they saw the Emperor was wearing nothing, they assumed that they were wrong and eagerly agreed how great the clothes were. Until a child pointed out that he was wearing nothing.......

Once upon a time there was a thing called a Premiership. Everyone was told that it was the most wonderful thing on Earth, even though all the people in it were either bankrupt, facing bankrupcy if they left it, or bored out of their wits even if they stayed in it. But we were all told by the radio and television that a Premiership was wonderful. Then there came a manager from the Premiership. He came to a fairly large club, by division 2 standards. Everyone was excited. "He's from the Premiership! He must be good" This manager spent an awful lot of money. Every year he bought a new striker, and every year he seemed to need another new striker. He had many many great young players at his disposal, far more than other managers, but still it never seemed to work. Every match he picked a very strange team, and made even stranger substitutions. Years went past. His club never got promotion. In fact, they stayed exactly where they were. This club had had a manager a few years ago who had got promotion in under a season and a half, but he wasn't from the Premiership, you see, so he can't have been a good manager. This manager continued to draw a large salary from the club, and after every match told the fans that we were just turning the corner, and it was about to happen. The fans assumed that they must just be wrong when they saw players out of position, better players on the bench, and our best players sold to be replaced by worse ones bought for a lot of money. The club was in debt, but they soldiered bravely on, because they had a Premiership manager, and were going to be in the Premiership one day with him, even though the two seasons he had been in the Premiership with other clubs he had been relegated both times. But because they were just one signing away from making it, and because their talented squad which should have walked the division years ago continued to impress people with the odd nice victory here and there, the fans continued to hope and believe, not believing the negative evidence of their own eyes or even realising the positive truth that the same players could have taken them up years ago. All the while they looked lovingly on the Premiership, and consoled themselves at night that here they had a manager from the Premiership, so it would all be right one day, and all that was required was one more striker, or a little more effort from the players, and the seasons came, and the seasons went, and no small child was on hand to speak the truth............