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Hartlepool Trip Just Had E-mail From Easy Jet


Never to the dark side

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Well lads and lasses I booked my flight going about a few months ago

for sixteen pounds fifty pence ONE WAY

I was going to come back by train

Unfortunatly I now have another engagement in the afternoon

I e-mailed easy jet asking if i could travel up on 0720am flight

arriving 0825am

the return flight with the same plane is 0850am back in bristol 1000am

Easy jet said no to my request cos I need FORTY MINUTES check in time

Having said all that if any one is interested in a group photo of the plane flyers

to Hartlepool

So I can post on the forum

If any one wants a free lift to the airport enough space for two only

Please drop a note in the private box

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Guest BTR_FTG

Sorry NTTDS but is your tuner on the blink?

I've read your message half a dozen times & still can't make 'top nor tail' of it & me a man who's won prizes at crosswords.

Nearest I could decode was that you proposed to fly up & back on the same flight even though you wouldn't get to the game. Is that right? If so, you SHOULD be able to do this if you're NOT checking in baggage, fairly standard proceedure for me on short hops in Europe with most airlines. You simply check in both legs when departing & they should be able to give you a boarding ticket immediately or have one waiting on their system far end.

BTR

FTG

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Sorry NTTDS but is your tuner on the blink?

I've read your message half a dozen times & still can't make 'top nor tail' of it & me a man who's won prizes at crosswords.

Nearest I could decode was that you proposed to fly up & back on the same flight even though you wouldn't get to the game. Is that right? If so, you SHOULD be able to do this if you're NOT checking in baggage, fairly standard proceedure for me on short hops in Europe with most airlines.  You simply check in both legs when departing & they should be able to give you a boarding ticket immediately or have one waiting on their system far end.

BTR

FTG

I read it to say he wanted to arrive in Hartlepool, stay for 25 minutes and fly home again, so you're doing better than me, BTR, or possibly worse. Hard to say, really.

NTTDS, did you once have a job composing the clues for '3-2-1'?

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Wants to fly up to Newcastle then come straight back again, the plane that takes him up is the same plane that comes back at 0850, but they wont let him because he would need 40 mins checking in and the plane is only on yhe ground for 25 minutes.

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Any way are either of you travelling up by plane and do you require lifts?

Hang on,

Are you offering to collect BTG and Edson, then drive 4 hours back to Bristol so that the three of you can catch a plane to Newcastle, take a photo of the plane and then all hop back on the same plane to get back in time to watch the game on Teletext??

Are you sure you only have two places in the car?

I think i want in on this.

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Guest BTR_FTG

NTTDS,

Thanks for your kind offer only the London crew are already sorted via Stansted.

As previous, provided you've tickets for both legs & no luggage is checked in then there shouldn't be a problem. Bucket airlines work on a 20 minute turnaround, so passengers have to be at the gate when the plane arrives. As in your case you'll be on said plane there's no reason you can't walk from plane to gate to either hand in or collect your boarding pass. Don't know much about Lulsgate but in theory you should be able to check in both legs there.

Don't forget to take your passport with you as although you shouldn't need it I've had various problems with EasyDosh & Rypoffair before when they wouldn't accept the various proofs of identity they say they accept.

BTR

FTG

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If I leave from Bristol and pick up two City suporters from London, travel back to Bristol and colect 3 more suporters, travel to the airport and get on an EasyJet plane to hartlepool, return an hour later to pick up several more City supporters, am I:-

a ) Overloading the plane

b ) Overloading the car

c ) Overloading on speed

Answers on a postcard please!!

Edited by BCFChris
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Hang on,

Are you offering to collect BTG and Edson, then drive 4 hours back to Bristol so that the three of you can catch a plane to Newcastle, take a photo of the plane and then all hop back on the same plane to get back in time to watch the game on Teletext??

No, potbelly, we'd listen to the game on the radio.

Teletext indeed. Have you taken leave of your senses?

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Hang on,

Are you offering to collect BTG and Edson, then drive 4 hours back to Bristol so that the three of you can catch a plane to Newcastle, take a photo of the plane and then all hop back on the same plane to get back in time to watch the game on Teletext??

Are you sure you only have two places in the car?

I think i want in on this.

Many thanks Potbelly & co.

Upon reading this i've been in tears of laughter in the office.

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Can someone clarify something for me....?

NTTDS is proposing to fly up to Hartlepool, get off the plane, check straight back in and fly back?

Does Barrow Gurney have an airport they can divert to?

Of course not! That would be ridiculous.

He's proposing to fly up to Newcastle, get off the plane, check straight back in and fly back.

Fly to Hartlepool and straight back? The very idea.

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Of course not! That would be ridiculous.

He's proposing to fly up to Newcastle, get off the plane, check straight back in and fly back

Fly to Hartlepool and straight back? The very idea.

That makes more sense. I can rest easy now.

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I assumed he uses his mobile phone.

He hasn`t got one. Fact.

It clearly states in the opening title that an email was received from Easyjet.

( funny, i got an email this morning from "Easyhard". I wonder if it`s the same people.?)

I dont think i booked any tickets, i`d better go and check. back in a mo.

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Guest BTR_FTG

But he only had a ONE WAY ticket - in which case he's going to buy another ticket just so he can use the one he's already purchased.

As Roy Castle would have trumpted, "that's dedication !"

BTR

FTG

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I think even Roy would have called it something else!

Here's an idea.... Just write the 16 nicker off and recreate the Easyjet experience by spending your Saturday sitting in your front room while your imaginary flight is delayed reading FHM and eating a stale McDonalds with cold fries. Ask your missus to wear an orange outfit and charge you a fiver every time she brings you a cup of tea. Or a tenner for a beer. Also ask her to tut loudly and roll her eyes to heaven every time you ask for a gin and tonic.

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Hang on,

Are you offering to collect BTG and Edson, then drive 4 hours back to Bristol so that the three of you can catch a plane to Newcastle, take a photo of the plane and then all hop back on the same plane to get back in time to watch the game on Teletext??

Are you sure you only have two places in the car?

I think i want in on this.

pot belly, just read this, havent laughed like that for ages!

Quality!

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Guest Uxbridge Red

NTTDS, I think you may have broken the record for a 'most viewed' post on this forum. A very amusing post which should be savoured!!

PS R U the guy who does the Daily Telegraph Fantasy Football?

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You can be detained against your will(sectioned) if you are suffering from a defined mental illness and are considered by 2 psychiatrists and an approved social worker to be a risk to yourself or other people.Mental Health Act 1983.

Under the Act you also have to be suffering from an illness which is treatable.

Having looked at these threads and if said person is considering hopping on planes for the hell of it I would suggest that they r past help.

What is this other engagement that is making you miss the game?

Has anyone ever gone further and not seen City play(not due to being arrested or incapacitated or game postponed)?

Don't forget to put film in your camera.

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He`s got a return ticket on the 2.37 out of Temple Meads just burning a hole in his pocket.
I've just phoned Bristol Temple Meads and, apparently, there are no trains departing at 2.37 on Saturday 24th, January.

I think you owe us all some sort of explanation.

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I've just phoned Bristol Temple Meads and, apparently, there are no trains departing at 2.37 on Saturday 24th, January.

I think you owe us all some sort of explanation.

Have you checked with Royal Mail? He could be travelling incognito as a large parcel. After all, he's always going on about the box.

Oh dear.

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Just to add... my missus is a travel agent and says that you dont usually fly back on the same plane you fly up on...Not enough turn around time..refuelling etc, maybe change of crew. Thereofre , it would be impossible to do anyway :P

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Guest BTR_FTG

Points:

N1 Jim - "defined mental illness" ; pot/kettle methinks as I seem to recall we too are meeting up before the birds rise to embark on a flight North & more than a few would consider that utter ****ing madness....

Reds - Don't wish to be rude about your missus but 'travel agent'? Bucket airlines operate one plane 'hop n stops' & that's why they're so cheap. Turn around is 20 minutes on a half hour slot. There's no need to refuel or change crew, christ they don't even clean the things. At Stansted & Luton you get the final boarding call on all Easydosh & Rypoffair flights & the plane's not yet at the gate. Plane up will be the one back & NTTDS can make the journey if he's organised.

BTR

FTG

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Couldn't we send one of the 'East-end misbehavours' on a one way trip to Newcastle?

I doubt they've made it this far down the page without giving up because they're brain hurts.

Mind you, it might all make sense to them...

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Where is Never To The Dark Side?

Do they not have computers in Barrow Gurney?

It seems to me that since he posted this infamous thread, he has dissapeared. If anyone knows his whereabouts please let the forum know. My theory is that he is on a return flight to Aus with the intention of watching Luke, but has found out that his mum is cooking a stew tonight and he is on his way back!

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Where is Never To The Dark Side?

Do they not have computers in Barrow Gurney?

It seems to me that since he posted this infamous thread, he has dissapeared. If anyone knows his whereabouts please let the forum know. My theory is that he is on a return flight to Aus with the intention of watching Luke, but has found out that his mum is cooking a stew tonight and he is on his way back!

He's busy changing his user name!

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My theory is that he is on a return flight to Aus with the intention of watching Luke,
The truth, as ever, is even scarier.

Inflamed by the knowledge that Beagle 2 was designed and launched by a Gashead, and puzzled by the sudden disappearance of Grey Greydoom, NTTDS has hijacked a space probe and launched himself off to Mars, where he hopes to reassure himself that the Red planet is in fact red and not blue, and where he also hopes to find Greydoom living in the burnt out wreckage of the Beagle somewhere on the Dark Side of Mars.

Unfortunately, NTTDS has subsequently discovered that the return flight from Mars does not take off for at least twenty years, and even that depends on George Bush's re-election, so he's now fervently hoping that someone discovers time travel in the next couple of days as he's depserate to get back for the Colchester match.

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Ah, but would he actually search for Mr Greydoom or just sit on the spaceship waiting the 25 mins before the return flight?

EDIT: He has been spotted, well I've just noticed his name on the user board. We awit the announcement with interest, although the Gas will probably beat him to it with their new manager announcement!

Edited by RedM
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The truth, as ever, is even scarier.

Not that scary, I think. There is, in fact, a method to Nev's madness. The reason he's doing all this is because of a little known EasyJet miles / loyalty card thingy that he has.

He needs to make the return trip to Newcastle in order to bump up his points so that he can improve his current Gold Straitjacket status to the highly coveted Platinum Lobotomy Card.

Can't say I can blame him. Bon voyage!

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Ah, but would he actually search for Mr Greydoom or just sit on the spaceship waiting the 25 mins before the return flight?

It depends. A Martian minute is five of our earth years, so if he waited the full 25, then by the time he gets back he'll have definitely missed the Colchester game. To make matters worse he should be just in time to find that he's missed the CATS rocket to our away fixture at Jupiter Rovers in the Intergalactic cup 2nd round.

His one consolation being that no-one on earth will have a clue what he's talking about when he claims that there used to be two teams in Bristol.

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Guest redrobin108

Come on NTTDS, waiting for the next episode in your plane adventure.

Will he be allowed to fly back to bristol directly ?

Will he make to the airport in time ?

What happens if the plane is cancelled ?

Come on, tell us more, its more gripping than a episode of east enders :D

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Just to let everyone know i cant go to the game becuss all the seats are tacken up on the easyjet plane  :D

So, you need a plane ticket to Newcastle, departing Bristol on Saturday morning, do you?

Ok, it's a long shot but it's worth a try:

Has anyone got a plane ticket from Bristol to Newcastle, travelling on Saturday morning, that they don't really need?

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So, you need a plane ticket to Newcastle, departing Bristol on Saturday morning, do you?

Ok, it's a long shot but it's worth a try:

Has anyone got a plane ticket from Bristol to Newcastle, travelling on Saturday morning, that they don't really need?

Does anybody have any almonds they don't need? I am trying make a fruitcake and seem to be fresh out of nutty substances.

Thanks,

redrocks

PS - Serious replies only please. Timewasters and purveyors of squirrel droppings please abstain from replying.

Edited by redrocks
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So, you need a plane ticket to Newcastle, departing Bristol on Saturday morning, do you?

Ok, it's a long shot but it's worth a try:

Has anyone got a plane ticket from Bristol to Newcastle, travelling on Saturday morning, that they don't really need?

Surely JudgeRed will need a lift to the airport as well?

At this late notice how likely is that to come about?

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Just wanna get this back to the top one of the funniest things ive read in a long time.

nttds why dont you get a day rider ticket and do as many city's in twenty four hours as poss, obviously the twenty minute turn a round is going to mean you miss glasgow and shepshed.

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Message from EJ256 to Newcastle:

We are currently flying at 40,000 feet, the weather is clear with no turbulance expected.

The flight crew will now be coming round with a range of throw away cameras, just the job for your holiday piccies (we have heard that Boots in bristol will develop them for a £1 off , if you take them in by 1pm today).

We would like to remind you that the bagage handlers at Newcastle International are currently on strike. This may well delay any passengers wishing to fly back 20 minutes after landing!

We hope you enjoy your flight with Easy Jet and find our all inclusive, 20 minute locational holidays value for money.

Yours The Flight Crew

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Guest Eddie Hitler

Bya country mile this is the funniest thread I have ever read in 6 years of posting. Laughed till it hurt in sheer disbelief. :D:D :Hmm, yeah that's really funny Tarquin.:

I now to have calm down as I'm due to make an important phone call where bursting itno laughter would do me no favours. Yes, I know it's Saturday. :D

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I had a thought about this today.

In the current climate wouldn't NTTDS's planned trip be considered suspicious by the authorities?

I had this vision of the conversation

SECURITY MAN: What is the purpose of your journey, sir?

NTTDS: To come back again of course!

SECURITY MAN: Come with me sir, I have some trained personnel with very cold hands waiting in a room to give you a full body cavity search!

Please tell me he got back safely.......

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