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Looking For A Lift....


lukejones2

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Hi guys.

I am asking this in the hope that someone may have a space for me in their car and want to give me a lift to Sheffield?

Basically, I have been looking forward to Saturday's game all season and have just been let down by the person who was going to drive my car for me. I could drive myself but I will not be sleeping at all on Friday night and therefore am slightly worried that I would fall asleep on the way back on the Saturday (given that I will have been awake since 7am on Friday Morning).

So, would anyone want to take me to Sheffield?

If so, could you call me on 07717004217 (a number only active until 1/3/04) and I will call you back if you like. I shall be at work Friday so I may have to be brief on the phone.

Ideally, I would like to leave Bristol any time after 10am but if you are leaving earlier please feel free to invite me. I can get to anywhere in/around Bristol. To assist in your decision:

Pros:

I will contribute for petrol

I am reasonably intelligent and may provide interesting conversation

There will be one more city fan in Sheffield

There is no obligation to spend any time in Sheffield with me at all as I have

friends travelling up from Coventry

I will buy you a beer or lemonade if desired

Cons:

I take up a lot of space

I am an accountant and may provide boring conversation

There will be an obligation to bring me home again

If I fall asleep (and I will try not too out of politeness) I may snore

OK, well, here's hoping. Any helpful comments or lift offers welcomed. Must sleep for a bit now.......

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To the optimist the glass half full

to the pessimist the glass is half empty

To an accountant the glass is twice as big as it needs to be!

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him.

When does a person decide to become an accountant?

When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

an accountant use for birth control?

His personality.

What's an extroverted accountant?

One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

What's an auditor?

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?

Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

There are three kinds of accountants in the world.

Those who can count, and those who can't.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?

Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.

Any solicitors about?

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