The Official Gary Johnson Quote Thread

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Previously we have had such gems as

If Fontaine scores I'll bare my behind in Burtons window

I am a Championship Manager, but you can't treat it like the computer game, Championship Manager

And today's offering in the Green 'Un

Keith does all the work on the computer stuff.....it is still a chalkboard for me. It is Milly that does it because I haven't got a clue. I just know the on and off button, and even then I can't find that sometimes

Please use this thread to quote all the fantastic Johnsonisms that he is sure to utter this season, and any other good ones I've forgotten.

[RedTop]

Previously we have had such gems as

And today's offering in the Green 'Un

Please use this thread to quote all the fantastic Johnsonisms that he is sure to utter this season, and any other good ones I've forgotten.

I may be misquoting slightly, and stand to be corrected on the exact wording, but before the game at Brighton last season when we were all marooned miles from the pitch in a scaffold stand he was chatting to some fans at the front and said: "Don't worry. They wheel it forward just before the game starts."

[BCFCfan]

Our Gary does love to add in 'roy of the rovers' ism's' alot of the time.

[Guest MightyRed]

When Enoch was looking doubtful before a match last season: "We'll pump him full of pills and ask him for a big half hour."

When (I think it was) Brooks scored a goal that meant he risked getting his head bashed by oncoming goalkeeper: "It's about wanting to score more than not getting hurt - he doesn't want to not score more than he doesn't want to get hurt."

About the Man City game: "I think Sven's spent a few million more than me over the summer."

About Trundle signing: "I don't normally speak to people over 30, let alone sign them!"

[RedTop]

When Enoch was looking doubtful before a match last season: "We'll pump him full of pills and ask him for a big half hour."

Maybe that could explain a few things about Enoch's showing this season! Gary, time to get the pills out again...in fact give him three times as many and you might get a big 90 minutes from him...

[samo]

Btw -anyone listen to Chris Kamara on Sky? He's a real funny bloke.The problem is that he doesn't mean to be.

Amen. Pure unintentional comedy. Much like 90% of Sky's pundits really...

[cider head]

Cosmic

[icamanicity]

How about "johnny on the spot" for murrays goal against blackpool..

[Guest LouieDane]

When he first cam eTo city he said somthing like this after a bad game and was asked what he'd said to the players after the game: 'I'd have liked to say a lot of things, but if I did i'd probably run out of players after a few weeks so i've got to be careful'

[NATCHER]

Johnsonisms are good

Didn't Johnson once say "Who's that ###### who called me a conference manager?"

[Matty H]

Didn't Johnson once say "Who's that ###### who called me a conference manager?"

Blinding

[Mad Cyril]

"Mind my bloody car, you great ~@#'$"

(Gary Johnson, Ashton Gate Carpark, late 2006).

More inspirational words of wisdom, helping me to get to grips with the complications of the clockwise loop outside the Williams stand.

Thanks Gary.

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Oi, enough of the Hollowhead stories. This is The Official Gary Johnson Quote Thread

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Time to get back on track:

BEP 6.7.2007:

You cannot afford to sign the first player who becomes available in case Roy of the Rovers comes knocking on your door further down the line

Edited August 21, 2007 by Sir Colby-Tit

[bristolcityup]

'It was an honour to get closer to Britney Spears than any man's managed before!' 2003

Yeovil boss Gary Johnson - who watched his side all but clinch promotion to the Football League on the same day his picture was alongside a revealing photograph of Britney Spears in a national newspaper

[Seend Red]

Weathers crap again

[mark43]

Sigh.... Back on topic.

Just noticed this one that I'd missed on BBC Sport quotes of the week:

"We couldn't have been drawn against a higher-placed team, as they are second to Everton currently."

Gary Johnson's brilliant analysis of the league table after drawing Man City in the Carling Cup.

[WhistleHappy]

Sigh.... Back on topic.

Just noticed this one that I'd missed on BBC Sport quotes of the week:

"We couldn't have been drawn against a higher-placed team, as they are second to Everton currently."

Gary Johnson's brilliant analysis of the league table after drawing Man City in the Carling Cup.

erm, ...mint!

[RedTop]

Sigh.... Back on topic.

Just noticed this one that I'd missed on BBC Sport quotes of the week:

"We couldn't have been drawn against a higher-placed team, as they are second to Everton currently."

Gary Johnson's brilliant analysis of the league table after drawing Man City in the Carling Cup.

Except, of course, that it's true. We couldn't have been drawn to a higher-placed team.

[Harry]

Sigh.... Back on topic.

Just noticed this one that I'd missed on BBC Sport quotes of the week:

"We couldn't have been drawn against a higher-placed team, as they are second to Everton currently."

Gary Johnson's brilliant analysis of the league table after drawing Man City in the Carling Cup.

Surprising as it may seem, it appears Gary was spot on with this one. Everton are in the UEFA Cup and so not playing in the the 2nd round. So Man City are in fact the highest placed opposition available.

Well done GJ on this one for 'thinking it through'.

Maybe we should analyse more of his quotes. Perhaps at first they appear baffling, but maybe they hold some unknown truths???

[Chivs]

Time to get back on track:

Ummm, Gary does know that Roy is a fictional character? Or does this explain the lack of pacy forward signing?

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Please, please, please use this thread for Super Gary J quotes only. If you want to have a debate with Robbored about Skeletor use this one

Robbored Skeletor Appreciation Thread

Thank you kindly.

I'm planning on making this thread a best seller & it's all messy.

Edited August 22, 2007 by Sir Colby-Tit

[Dollymarie]

Oooooh me me I got one!!!

At the end of season awards back in May, GJ was commenting on something about Bradley Orr, and the crowd started chanting "He's an Orr!" and when it quietened down again, Gary turned round and said

"Well I spose we better keep him then!"

Edited August 23, 2007 by Dollymarie

[Leveller]

Just thought I'd post this to try to keep the thread near the top of the pile.

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Evening Post 25.8.07

On Hungarian International Tamas Vasko after his teams 3-1 victory over Italy:

Tamas played very well against the pair of them (Inzhagi & Del Piero)........he is now a couple of inches taller....

On David Noble's return to training as he recovers from a troublesome groin injury:

People say I have forgotten about him, but you do when you haven't seen him for a while

[Dollymarie]

Main site

The City manager refused to call the game must win........"If we win on Saturday then we've had a good start, if we lose then its a bad start"

[Sir Colby-Tit]

OS today

Scotty has got that youthful exuberance if you like - well, perhaps not 'youthful'!

[Sir Colby-Tit]

Today's EP

On Sven reportedly cracking open a bottle of £460.00 Burgundy at the recent Manchester derby at Eastlands:

As it's our home game I suppose it's down to me to treat Sven. I've had a word with the chairman and I reckon our

budget will stretch to about £4.60

[redmelsh]

In the lead up to our match against Brighton - "Brighton have come to play"

[Guest Cider Jaaarn]

My favourite from his yeovil days was 'I want them to Mother the goalmouth'.

After conceding too many goals he wanted players to imagine their Mother was in the goal and they should protect her from the ball.

[North Lincs Red]

"Stephen has had his carrot playing once for the first team, and really enjoyed it," Robins boss Gary Johnson told his club's website.

Talking on BBC site about Hendersons loan deal at York City.....

[Dollymarie]

Taken from the Guardian's match report of the Man. City game ;

Gary Johnson, the Bristol City manager, was among their number. "I thought we deserved to go into extra-time," he said. "It's a fine line between success and failure but Macca has seen it and he told me he was just offside. So I punched him."

http://football.guardian.co.uk/Match_Repor...=rss&feed=5

That one is brilliant!

[numbeast]

On the main site GJ says of bringing Basso back

"But Basso played 14 months last year and was only left out through of injury, so he deservedhis mum to see him on television today"

So we are now adopting the Johnsonion calender which is extended by two month any suggestion as to the name of the missing 2 months? Christmas in Bassember perhaps?

[Guest Dubai Red]

And Gary added: "I really feel for Brooks but thankfully he is only 26 - despite looking 36 - and has age on his side."

Mint!

[DeadmanTF1]

You do not nick a 3-0 have no doubt about that.

in response to Dowies winge about Losing

[Sir Colby-Tit]

OS 18.9.07:

We had a big chat with the lads yesterday. We started by congratulating them, cuddling them, and saying well done for their performance at Coventry

[Sir Colby-Tit]

From BBc Quotes of the week:

"It is very, very satisfying to be top. We knew Coventry had a game plan to get the ball forward to Dele Adebola very, very quickly. We had to compete and at the same time be very, very strong. It was a very, very good away performance."

Maybe somebody should introduce Bristol City boss, Gary Johnson, to the word 'extremely'?

[LocoPal]

Seem to remember him saying something along the lines of this last season;

"If we lose, well, i'll just have to go home and kick the cat, win, and ill go home and kick the cat anyway!"

Not a cat lover then our Gary?

Crikey, this suit is B A D !

And green to boot

[giles_23_bcfc]

Christ he looks young!

Anyway, on commenting on 105 year old Ivy Haynes birthday, he come out with this...

It's great we've got a member of our coaching staff, Alan Walsh, who remembers Ivy when she was in the Junior Reds!

[southvillekiddy]

And Gary added: "I really feel for Brooks but thankfully he is only 26 - despite looking 36 - and has age on his side."

Mint!

I can see that Gary might have thought of this independantly but Tinman came up with this first.

"Brooks looks 43 but is 23"

[Sir Colby-Tit]

From Today's Green 'Un

A big lump

GJ's description of Vasko

[boadle]

Referring to Marvin Elliots swerving winner against Stoke:

"It had so much bend on it that had it not hit the net it would have probably come back round to him."

Anyone else think this thread should be a sticky?

[bcfcchris2016]

Referring to Marvin Elliots swerving winner against Stoke:

"It had so much bend on it that had it not hit the net it would have probably come back round to him."

Anyone else think this thread should be a sticky?

i agree, i love reading this thread. It's very fasinating to be looking down at all his funny quotes. It's good i say.

[beau45]

About Carey's accident against Southampton:

"Louis definitley got a broken nose and its actually a bit straighter now!"

Made me chuckle anyway!!

[Dollymarie]

After todays game

"I'm sure it looked a great goal for the television cameras, and it looked an even better goal on the radio"

(He did add he was joking which kind of spoilt it)

[Nibor]

"It had so much bend on it that had it not hit the net it would have probably come back round to him."

[Guest charisma_cider]

After being asked by a Sky reporter about his "after 10 game analysis" Gary replies

"Well after these 10 games we'll look at our position, analyse ourselves as a group and individually, then we'll probably keep it to ourselves and not tell you lot."

Edited October 28, 2007 by charisma_cider

[Guest reddog]

I may be misquoting slightly, and stand to be corrected on the exact wording, but before the game at Brighton last season when we were all marooned miles from the pitch in a scaffold stand he was chatting to some fans at the front and said: "Don't worry. They wheel it forward just before the game starts."

You're quite correct RedTop, we were there when he said it. I remember that Steve Lansdown was with him when he said it and chuckled along with the rest of us.

[Leveller]

Tonight's interview on Radio Five about the squad's attitude and that poster in the dressing room

"they're very competitive in five-a-side and in tiddlywinks on the coach and that sort of thing"

[Always Believesham]

Didn't he say yr before last season when city were really unfortunate, i think it was home to bradford and he was quoted to have said, "if i'd have seen a black cat on the way home id have killed it" i reckon he's allergic either that or petrified?! when was the robin introdiced instead of the cat?

[Guest Jo1970]

On Sproule's goal:

"What a goal that was. It was a fantastic run and a great finish and worthy of being the winning goal. He showed his pace and quality to finish with his swinging (left) foot. Funnily enough that was all he did in the game!"

[Guest seesaw]

Whilst talking about Showunmi last season.

He'll have a fitness test before the game, then we'll tell him he's fit!

[Guest mesa boogie]

"Stay Down!"

[Dollymarie]

I'd like to state the obvious one

"IF LIAM FONTAINE EVER SCORES A GOAL I'LL BARE MY BACKSIDE IN BURTONS WINDOW"

We're waiting Gary.......

[Guest redrobin]

Just watched points west and gary said something along the lines of

when i become england manager i don't want people to remember and say that was the guy who bore his anatomy in a shop window

[Guest Dubai Red]

Yet another great one, from the BBC website on the Ipswich game

"It's been a bad day at the office, but we will 're-decorate the office' and be back."

[Frome Valley]

[Guest bcfc-andybuchs]

About Carey's accident against Southampton:

"Louis definitley got a broken nose and its actually a bit straighter now!"

Made me chuckle anyway!!

One not mentioned was Gary's references to "having a bite at the cherry" at the end of last season.

The high use of "well" is something that makes me chuckle when hearing GJ

[Dollymarie]

From todays Observer monthly

Johnson was duly appointed Latvia national manager. 'I had to change a country's philosophy and mentality, they were still playing with a sweeper,' he says. 'I think they knew that I was strong, but humble if you like. After six months, the team was Cockney speaking. My only sentence in Latvian was, "Where is my aeroplane?"'

[LSN]

[giles_23_bcfc]

I said to Darren as he went on "You will get one chance, be ready for it!"

Just before Darren Byfield came on to score his winner at Watford!

[BITW]

"We had a dopey day at Portman Road"

[CiderJar]

Of Basso's injury, "A quick trip to Lourdes and he'll be back fine."

[mozo]

Bristol City manager Gary Johnson on Vasko:

"I watched a video of him playing and he beat up a centre forward for 90 minutes.

[bBC]

[WhistleHappy]

after post- match interview wished Radio Bristol and its listeners a Happy New Year (then jokingly corrected himself to say Radio Bristol & its listener )

[Guest Red Ass]

When asked about the injury to Jamie McCombe's back injury:- "When your 6'7" like he is, he has to duck under the doors at Ashton gate, I'm going to call in the carpenters, to higher the doors"

Classic Johno

[Dollymarie]

After the 1 - 1 draw with Colchester he said

"I said to the lads theyre lucky to be getting their bonus for being in the top two, and I might even take it away from them"

[chinapig]

Apparently (according to the Sunday Independent) having bollocked the players after the Colchester game he walked into the press conference singing "Top of the League, we're 'avin a larf"

[beau45]

Asked whether his side could maintain their place near the top of the table, Gary quipped, "Why not? I think thats the 27th time I've been asked that this season."

[Guest LouieDane]

On how his motivational technique of saying Liam Fontain would never score worked:

"it's made him Prolific when he was Pathetic"